You're invited to our party.
This is our 10th Annual Actual* 4th of July party: the (fast and) Furiously Fused Fiesta! The extended forecast says it's going to be hot 🥵 and sunny 🌞, you know, July.
We're having the party on the actual 4th of July, a Friday, so buckle up.
*2020's "Pathetic Pandemic Party" doesn't count because we didn't have guests.
WE'LL START BY STEALING VCRsWhere's the party?
Dom and Kate's house in Drexel Hill, PA. There's usually a bunch of street parking available.
What's the plan, Dom?
We'll be ready for people around 2pm, starting with light snacks (🥔 chips, 🥣 dips, 🥨 etc.) until we've got enough of a crowd to start peeling out 💨 featured dishes. We'll party the whole afternoon and into the night. Sometime between 7:30pm and 8:30pm, Dom or Kate will put Ozzy to bed.
Around that time we usually get a fire started 🔥 outside and start playing Mario Kart 🏎 in the basement.
[ SIGH ] ... RACE WARS🧨 Fireworks?
No real fireworks. 🧯 Sparklers and those tiny fountains are okay, but anything that an adult would consider fun should be left at home. 👨🚒
Get outta here!
Everyone's usually gone by midnight unless they're having a sleepover. This time it's Friday night so we might go way later. Especially if we break out board games.
OH LOOK, JOHN CENA: 🫥We don't have friends, we have family!
The theme this year is furiously fused, like a car wreck! 🚗💥 All the food we're swerving is going to be a crash-up of styles.
We needed to get the invite out before we finished brainstorming, so who knows what to expect? It's a blind pass, baby!
Preliminary ideas include:
- 🧁 Buffalo Chicken Cornbread Cupcakes
(with bleu cheese frosting) - 🐮 Mini Bulgogi Cheesesteaks
- 😈 Deviled Eggs
(with a variety of toppings) - 🤠 Cowboy Caviar
(no idea, don't ask) - 🔧 A Fight between Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson & Vin "Melkor" Diesel
(which is contractually negotiated to end in a stalemate)
We'll also have burgers, dogs, and some vegetarian options. BYO if you're particular.
IT'S ABOUT FAMILYLive, Laugh, a Quarter Mile at a Time
We'll have 3 beers on tap at the bar, plus cans. I really don't want to buy Coronas but I feel obligated to. We've got plenty of wine, and a decent offering of spirits.
For those who don't imbibe we always have sparkling water, Gatorade, juice boxes, teeny cans of soda, and filtered water.
FAAM-ILLYEverybody eats!
We'd like to include everyone who wants to come. We'll be sharing an invitation and spreading this link around, but please feel free to invite whoever. Your kids are invited, too. We have stuff for them to do.
How about pets?
Nope, our dog is a jerk. Reggie loves people and plays with children, but he feels compelled to assert dominance over other dogs, no matter how big they are.
We also have a cat.
You won't see her, but if you're allergic you'll absolutely feel her presence. Dope yourself up on antihistamines before coming over.
I'LL BRING MY FAMILEIGHChildren!
We'll break out the kiddie pool, sprinkler, and water play table. We might have a ball pit, too, if there are enough kids.
Older kids can play whatever I've got on my (original) Nintendo Switch on the gigantic projector screen in the basement until the adults want to play Towerfall. BYO (original) Switch if you have something specific in mind. We have plenty of controllers.
We've got three rooms upstairs fit for napping. Those rooms even have beds (of varying quality)! Bring your own baby cage if your child can't be trusted.
IT'S ABOUGHT PHAM-E-LEEYou don't turn your back on family.
Please mention if your parents, children, or family friends will also be in attendance and remind us of your special dietary restrictions so we can do our best to not kill you. We have a dog and a cat. If you're allergic to those things you're going to have to plan ahead.
My parents are out of town, so we can use their house as a drunk tank in case you have too much fun.